One dream too many
by Source of Greatness
Summary: Hermione has had many dreams over the years but will she ever get to achieve any of them? Oneshot, Adult themes


Ever since Hermione Granger was a little girl she dreamed of being doctor. She wanted so badly to help people, make them better and find cures for all the terrible diseases in the world.

That all changed the day her acceptance letter came from Hogwarts. She was so excited "Daddy I can do magic now!" until she realised that she'd never become a doctor…at least not in the Muggle world like she planned. So at the age of 11 Hermione Granger gave up on her dreams and dreamed of a new one instead.

She left Hogwarts with the best OWLs and NEWTs ever seen. Harry even joked "They should make a new grade, just for you 'Mione" She was so excited; she had been accepted to further her education to become a Healer whilst her two best friends trained to become Aurors. Harry was obsessed with tracking down Death Eaters that had escaped after the Final Battle, while Ron just wanted to work with his best friend.

She met someone, someone who she never expected to see again never mind training to become a Healer. Draco Malfoy, it seemed wanted to pay for his past mistakes and chose Healing as the best method to do so. They soon become friends and even started dating, much to the dismay of Ron and Harry but they supported her "Through thick and thin, we'll always be here…even if he is a git"

Soon after Draco proposed to her "I know I don't deserve you and Merlin knows you'd be a fool to think so. But I love you, with all my heart. You've changed me, Christ I even like _Potter_!" She accepted and Hermione Granger became Hermione Malfoy.

A year and a half later her 4 years of training to become a Healer were over. Both she and Draco would be able to help people on a daily basis, just like she had dreamed.

Draco had gotten a position as a Healer almost as soon as they graduated. That was months ago and Hermione was still being turned down time after time. She was ashamed to admit that she had even flaunted her Hero status to get a job but even that had failed. After almost a year of searching a heartbroken Hermione Malfoy gave up on her dreams for the second time.

She got a job as a teacher at the school that she trained to be a Healer; Hermione even befriends some of her old teachers. When summer comes, Hermione finds herself aimless. There are no classes to teach, no lessons to plan. She has nothing to strive for; nothing to fill her time and thoughts, so one afternoon when she's with Ginny and her 3 green eyed, dark haired children, a new goal materializes before her eyes.

She surprises Draco with his favourite meal after work and says casually over the dinner table, "I think we should have a baby." Draco spits out his beer over his plate, she begins listing reasons why they should have a baby. He stops her, knowing that she probably has a list written somewhere (she does)

They start trying to have a baby, right there, on the dining room table.

After months, still no pregnancy, no baby and as Hermione stared at the muggle pregnancy test which had once again trodden her hopes and dreams into the mud, she wondered what she was doing wrong. Harry and Ginny asked her to visit repeatedly. But every time Hermione saw little James Potter zooming around on his toy broomstick, or Albus climb up onto his father's lap, or baby Lily smile at her mother, she felt the most awful pain in her chest – an indescribable and terrible feeling. Grief and regret and frustration and jealousy all together.

Hermione couldn't take it any more, watching her friends, her family and worst of all her husband dote on the countless children that had seemed to spring up at almost every turn. And every time she had seen Draco with a child in his arms she felt a pang of regret in her chest. He looked so natural in the role, rocking babies back and forth, settling them.

Whilst at a garden party for one of Draco's colleagues she felt that everything had gotten too much for her. She bade goodbye to the friends she as seated with. She received some strange looks for her teary eyes. She apparated home and quickly ran for the bedroom.

Draco had arrived home soon after, obviously alerted by one of her friends, and was greeted by the sight of her magically packing her belongings into a suitcase. "Hermione? What are you doing?"

She tried to answer but couldn't get a word out through the now violent sobs racking her body .Draco moved over to her and grabbed her arms. She struggled against him but he was too strong and she was forced to halt her packing. He asked he again what was wrong and she felt even worse for worrying him. She loved him, but couldn't keep putting him through this pain time and time again.

She finally managed to choke out something about pregnancy and disappointing him. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head underneath his chin. He waited until her crying had lessened into occasional sobs before he finally asked "What is this all about? Why are you leaving me, Hermione?"

She made it so she was looking into his eyes, confused and concerned grey met watery defeated brown."You deserve better than me. I can't give you a child that you so desperately want. You want it with all of your heart and I'm the one that's standing in your way. There's something wrong with me Draco – I wouldn't make a good mother perhaps. I need to go. I'm going so that you can find someone, someone that's meant to have children – with you."

"Hermione please, listen to me. Yes I want children, God do I want a little boy running around messing up the place. But I'll only ever want you as their mother. I love you, not anyone else. It doesn't matter if it takes another 7 years to conceive, I'll only ever want them with you. We could ever adopt if it came down to it. But you Hermione would make the most amazing mother I know. He kissed her, it was a loving kiss.

"Thank God we got away from that party, it was bloody boring!"

After two years, countless fights and hundreds of broken plates, Hermione Malfoy has had enough. She never thought that something as small and innocent as a baby could break her. She has watched her friends and family pop out baby after baby. She doesn't pay attention to the dates only focused on when she ovulating and what her temperature is.

Draco comes home just like every other Thursday evening, except it's no ordinary Thursday not for him and his wife. It's their wedding anniversary. He's booked a table at the most expensive restaurant in the area, he got a bottle of fine wine, a box of chocolates and two airline tickets to Paris, leaving in the morning.

He sees his wife on the bed, thinking she's sleeping he slips off his shoes and sneaks up to her. He places a loving kiss on her lips and is shocked at how cold they are. Only then does he notice she's pale - paler than him – her lips are blue and her eyes are open. Even without being a Healer all this time he knew what was wrong. He couldn't think, just let the tears flow freely down his face. His knees buckle and he falls to the floor. He notices an envelope on the locker next to the bed –her locker. It's addressed to him.

My dearest Draco

I'm so sorry that it's come to this. I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and that it was me that was never good enough for you. Don't blame yourself what ever you do; this is not your fault.

I just can't go on feeling this way. I'm sick of being asked "When shall we have an heir to the Malfoy fortune?" I'm sick of hearing "Maybe next time sweetheart" but most of all I'm sick and tired of feeling like this, like half a woman.

Just know that I will always be watching over you and I will be protecting you, every step you take. You are my world and the only thing I ever regret is not giving you a blonde curly haired child with grey eyes. That was one dream to many that I had to give up.

Yours always and forever

Hermione


End file.
